Read Me a Story, Daddy
by strawberries
Summary: When a father like Vegeta is reading a bedtime story to a child like Bra, there's bound to be mischief. Vegeta's take on how to 'properly' tell a bedtime story!
1. Night One

Read Me a Story, Daddy  
  
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Little Bra threw back the covers and hopped into bed. She looked up expectantly at her father who was watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. He glanced at her, wondering what she wanted.  
  
"Aren't you going to tuck me in, daddy?" she asked as if it were something he should already know about. He dropped his arms to the side and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. This father thing still eluded him.  
  
"Okay, Bra," he replied and pulled the covers up to her neck. She giggled and waited expectantly again. He stared at her warily, wondering what else she wanted.  
  
"Aren't you going to read me a story, daddy?" she asked and Vegeta cringed. He looked for an escape route, but found none easily accessible without causing his daughter to throw a tantrum.  
  
"Ah... sure, Bra."  
  
He walked over to her shelf and picked out a book titled 'Mother Goose's Fairytales.' He silently mused about how a goose could tell fairytales and what kind of satanic teachings this goose was practicing before returning to his daughter's bed. He sat on the edge and flipped through the pages to stop on 'Little Red Riding Hood.'  
  
"Okay, Little Red Riding Hood," he announced. Bra clapped her hands together eagerly and the four-year-old quieted to allow her father to read.  
  
"Once upon a time, there was a little..." he smirked evilly and glanced at Bra before continuing, "boy named Kakkarot. He frollicked through the meadows until he reached his cottage. When he entered, his mother, ChiChi, told him that he had to bring some biscuits and other goodies to his grandmother who lived in the woods.  
  
"Little Kakkarot picked up his basket full of goodies, tied his red cloak around him to keep warm because he was a weakling, and skipped out the door of his cottage. He decided to bring along his pet dog, Yamucha. But this dog was incredibly stupid, so Kakkarot had to put a leash on him. So Kakkarot was skipping through the woods and he let go of Yamucha's leash accidently. Yamucha was so dumb that he ran off and poor, little Kakkarot never saw him again."  
  
"Daddy," Bra interrupted, "Mommy never said there was a dog and why are you calling Little Red Riding Hood 'Kakkarot?'"  
  
"Let daddy finish reading," he told her before returning to the book.  
  
"So after Yamucha ran away, Kakkarot was very sad that he had lost his boyfr-- best friend. He was wandering through the woods, eating the biscuits because he eats everything, when he came upon an all-powerful, king of the universe wolf.  
  
"The big, bad wolf stopped him and asked little Kakkarot to share some of the biscuits with him. Well, since Kakkarot eats everything and there were none left, he couldn't give any to the big, bad wolf and said that he had to get to his grandmother's house. Kakkarot skipped off stupidly to continue on his way to his grandmother's house. The super-powerful wolf promised himself that since he couldn't have any biscuits, he'd eat the little boy Kakkarot and his grandmother instead. He used his ultra-fast flying skills to beat Kakkarot to his grandmother's house in the middle of the woods.  
  
"When he got there, he went inside the house and found the grandmother, Gohan, knitting some mittens because the grandmother was very girly and didn't train enough. Since the wolf was really powerful, a lot more powerful than the little Kakkarot, he quickly ate the grandmother. Gohan tasted really bad, but the wolf was still hungry, so he waited for Kakkarot in grandmother's clothes as a disguise. Eventually Kakkarot knocked on the door and came inside.  
  
"'Grandmother?' he asked. He spotted his grandmother -- the big, bad wolf in disguise -- sitting in a chair still knitting those damn mittens."  
  
Bra gasped and covered her mouth with her little hands. "You said a naughty word! Mommy will be really mad!"  
  
Vegeta cringed and looked behind him. Then he whispered, "We'll just let that be our little secret. Now back to the story."  
  
"So anyway, Kakkarot said, 'I've brought you some goodies... but I ate them.' He pouted, showing the wolf the empty basket. He looked at his grandmother again and said, 'Wow, grandmother, what big hair you have!'  
  
"The grandmother, turned wolf, scowled at the little boy and said, 'It's the hair of the royals and all the better to be taller than you with!'  
  
"'My, grandmother, what a big power level you have!' Kakkarot said in awe-stricken worship.  
  
"'All the better to defeat you with!' replied the wolf.  
  
"Kakkarot leaned in closer and heard the wolf's stomach growling. 'Wow! What a big appetite you have!'  
  
"The wolf grinned. 'All the better to eat you with!' And then the wolf gobbled up the little Kakkarot. The end!"  
  
Vegeta closed the book and looked at his daughter expectantly. Bra scrunched together her eyes in a little pout and crossed her arms over her chest. "You forgot to say how the villageman came and chopped the wolf open and rescued the grandmother and Little Red Kakkarot!"  
  
Vegeta chuckled and shook his head. "No, you see, this wolf was so powerful that nobody in the universe could defeat him, so Kakkarot and the grandmother were never rescued. Now go to sleep."  
  
Seemingly satisfied, little Bra closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep. Vegeta smirked and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Heheheh. When someone like Vegeta is trying to read a bedtime story, you know there will be problems. XD I've written many romance, drama/angst stories, but I thought I'd try my hand at a funny one. Forgive me if it's not very humorous. ^^; I may continue on with another night of story-telling if some people want me to. ^~ Thanks for reading and check out some of my other fics! 


	2. Night Two

Read Me a Story, Daddy  
  
Part two  
  
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"Bra, it's time to get yourself to bed," Bulma told her four-year-old daughter. The little girl bobbed her head.  
  
"Daddy! Will you read me another story like last night?" she asked hopefully. Vegeta flushed embarrassedly at his wife's smirk.  
  
"...Sure, Bra..." he trailed off regrettably. A teenaged Trunks and Bulma hid their laughs behind their hands as Vegeta trailed his hyper daughter up to her bedroom. She ran from the door and leaped into her bed, waiting patiently for her father. Vegeta picked out the book of fairytales by the Satanic Goose, then sat on the side of her bed. He flipped through the pages and stopped on one that sounded decent to him.  
  
"The Three Little Pigs," he announced. Bra giggled.  
  
"You like wolf stories, don't you, daddy?"  
  
He grinned in response and flipped open to the first page. "Once upon a time, there were three little Saiya-jins. They were weaklings, so they lived with their harpy mother, ChiChi. The biggest idiot trained and ate all of the time; the medium-size idiot read pointless books that didn't have anything to do with fighting or war; the smallest idiot went on 'dates' with complete morons that didn't even know what ice cream is. But FINALLY, their harpy mother kicked them out of the house because their stupidity finally was too much for her to handle."  
  
"But that's not what happened!" Bra interrupted and Vegeta quieted her with a motion of his finger.  
  
"Anyway, they got kicked out. The youngest little Saiya-jin, Goten, was the most idiotic out of the three, so he built his house out of straw. He really thought it was something and invited all of those bimbo women of his over for a round of Mai Tais.  
  
"Luckily for us, unlucky for stupid Goten, an extremely powerful wolf came along. He huffed and he puffed and he blew the pathetic attempt at a house down with a powerful ki blast from his throat. In the process, the little Goten and his bimbo women were obliterated.  
  
"The second little Saiya-jin, Kakkarot, was second in line for the title of King of Stupidville. He built his house out of wood because he thought that he might be able to eat on his wooden house.  
  
"Again, we get lucky because that completely awesome wolf comes along and spots this half-eaten house. He can't allow such stupidity to exist in this world any longer. So he huffs and he puffs and he sends another ki blast from his throat and destroys the house. He destroys Kakkarot at the same time, but the unworthy fool was too busy stuffing his face to notice."  
  
"Mommy said that the little piggies survived..." Bra trailed off.  
  
"Mommy was being nice. Now, back to the story. The last of the three Saiya-jins was named Gohan. He was probably the smartest of the three, but he didn't train enough, and he pranced around the city in a girly costume fighting 'evil.' But even though he was womanly, thanks to his mother, he was still smart enough to build his own house out of bricks. He had heard about the other two little Saiya-jins being overpowered by the most powerful wolf in the universe, but he thought that he would be safe in his brick house.  
  
"However, soon the wolf showed up at his house. 'I bet your books can't protect you from this, sissyboy!' he shouted before huffing and puffing and destroying the brick house. Yes, he was just that powerful. Oh, and little Gohan was blasted into oblivion, too. And before you ask, the wolf was way too powerful to be caught and reprimanded for his grea-- bad deeds.  
  
"Also, in the sequel to The Three Little Saiya-jins, the really cool wolf blasts that screaming harpy's, ChiChi, house down and laughed the entire time. The end."  
  
Bra giggled. "I like your stories, daddy!"  
  
Vegeta grinned back at her before placing the book back on the shelf and leaving the room.  
  
"Goodnight, Bra," he called from the doorway.  
  
"Goodnight, big, bad wolf," she said with a small giggle.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Since I got a fairly decent feedback rate on the first installment of this, I thought I'd put in another one. ^^; I hope you all liked it. 


	3. Night Three

Read Me a Story, Daddy

Night Three

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A/N: Hi, everyone! I was in a giggly mood and had a sudden urge to write another chapter on this (even though it's been eight months since I last wrote on this story). Here you go; I hope you all like it!

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Bulma patted her daughter's bottom, ushering her up the stairs and to her bed. She turned to her husband. "If you tuck Bra into bed and read her a story, I'll tuck _you _into bed." She winked.

Vegeta grinned wolfishly. "Deal, woman." He jogged up the stairs and entered his young daughter's room.

"Daddy, yay!" she squealed. She had already retrieved her Satanic Goose book and was holding it out for him to take. Vegeta flipped it open and skimmed for any other wolf stories. He didn't see any right away, and he was in a bit of a hurry with Bulma waiting, so he just stopped on the next story he saw.

Sitting on the edge of Bra's bed, he recited, "There was a screaming harpy who lived in a shoe. She had so many Saiya-jin, she didn't know what to do. She gave them some broth without any bread. And when Kakkarot whined, she smacked him with a frying pan and put him to bed."

Closing the book, he looked down at his daughter. Bra's lip was puckered out and she looked like she was about to cry. "That was terrible, daddy! You have to read me a better, longer story!"

"Daddy's really tired," he insisted, thinking of Bulma in their bedroom. When the four-year-old's eyes watered, he cringed and sighed.

"Okay, I'll read one more story," he conceded.

Bra clapped her hands together. "Yay! Do someone else 'sides Kakkarot this time."

Vegeta thought for a moment. Who else could he make fun of? He grinned. There were countless people on this planet. He put away the Satanic Goose book, picking out another one in its place titled 'Happily Ever After Fairytales.' Flipping through the pages, he stopped on a story about a mutilated fish lady. He looked down at the artwork of a girl with a green fishtail. He looked thoughtful.

"Okay, Bra, once upon a time, there was a Namekian named Piccolo. No, he wasn't an instrument; that was just his ridiculous name. He was actually Prince of the Mermaids and Mermen. Like the other freaks on his planet, he couldn't have anything except water, so he lived in the sea. He had a fat pet fish named Yamucha who was extremely weak and frightened easily.

"Together, Piccolo and Yamucha swam around in their girly coconut bras looking for adventure and treasures from the human world above. Piccolo had a huge collection of wet and moldy food that he stared at often, wishing he could eat like a normal person. His 'dad,' the old geezer Kami, didn't like how Piccolo wished to be just like a human. So, he told the useless crab, Krillin, to follow Piccolo around and make sure he didn't get into any trouble. Wait, forget about the crab. I already have too many idiots to keep up with in this story.

"Anyway, one day, Piccolo and Yamucha were swimming around like usual and spotted an enormous ship on the ocean. Going up to the ship, Piccolo spotted a stupid pirate, the captain of the ship."

"He's a prince, not a pirate, daddy!" Bra protested.

"Not this time, dear," Vegeta corrected. "Anyway, Piccolo fell in love with this pirate, Gohan. However, he knew he was too freakish to be able to be with Gohan. He decided to go see the King of the Universe who happened to live in the ocean, as well. When Piccolo met this all-powerful octopus--geez, an octopus?--he was so awe-stricken by his sleek appearance and insanely high power level that he almost forgot why he came. Eventually though, he remembered and asked the King of the Universe octopus to help him change into a human in order to be with the pirate Gohan. Being the studly nice guy that he was, the octopus turned the merman into a human prince.

"Yamucha tried to warn Piccolo that it wasn't a good idea, but the King of the Universe didn't want his secret plans disrupted, so he ate the fat pet fish. He tasted very gross, I might add. The octopus told Piccolo that he only had three days to kiss Gohan. If he didn't succeed, the octopus would blast him into oblivion with his favorite Big Bang Attack.

"Very quickly, three days went by. Piccolo had been kidnapped by the pirate--on purpose, of course--and was tied up on his ship. Piccolo couldn't say anything to Gohan because he was gagged like a pig on a spit. Finally, however, Piccolo was able to tell Gohan how he felt about him. Much to Piccolo's dismay, Gohan refused to marry anyone because he only wanted to read all the time like a pansy. He didn't even fight when his pirate ship plundered towns; he just sat on board his ship reading sappy romance novels. But anyway, Piccolo was heartbroken and returned to his merman form. He dove into the ocean and ran home to daddy Kami. However, he soon found out that Kami was now reduced to the servant's role of polishing the King of the Universe's tentacles. You see, the octopus had stolen the starfish balls and wished for immortality. From that point on, he ruled over everyone until the end of time."

"But what happened to poor Piccolo?" Bra asked sadly.

Vegeta shrugged. "Oh, him. Well, he retired to a beach on Kookamunga where he led a support group for Freakish Namekian Mermaids With No One to Love Them."

Bra's mouth formed an 'O' shape. Then she smiled. "Your stories are the best, daddy."

Vegeta's lips curled up into a smirk. "Yes, they are. Goodnight, Bra."

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Writing these are great for clearing my head, so I can write on other stories. Anyway, I hope this helped pass a few minutes of a boring day. Ciao for now! XD


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